What Parts of Yourself Have You Learned to Hide?
As women, we're taught to hide all kinds of things.
Our anger, ambition, needs, opinions, grief, truth.
We learn not to take up too much space.
Not to ask for too much.
Not to be too loud.
Too emotional.
Too much.
We learn how to smile when we're hurting.
How to say "I'm fine" when we're not.
How to perform the version of ourselves that feels safest, most acceptable, and least likely to make others uncomfortable.
After a while, it becomes so automatic that we don't even realize we're doing it.
Since it's Pride Month, I've been reflecting on what being part of the LGBTQIA+ community has taught me over the last two decades.
Oddly enough, it isn't about being queer.
It's about expression.
When I started dating my wife in 2007, I was worried about how my family and grandparents would react.
When I told them, their response was essentially:
"We know. We love her."
I was lucky. My story wasn't one of rejection.
But even after nearly 20 years together, there are still moments when we think about things many straight couples never have to think about.
Holding hands.
Sharing a quick kiss.
Walking into an unfamiliar space.
Most of the time it's fine.
Sometimes it isn't.
And that's what keeps bringing me back to this idea: No one should have to hide who they are.
Yet so many of us do.
While I've never hidden my relationship, I've certainly hidden the truth about my childhood.
My feelings.
My hurt.
My rage.
Childhood and adolescent experiences that left lasting imprints and spent years tucked away in silence and shame.
Not because they weren't real.
But because, at different times in my life, they didn't feel safe to express.
We hide parts of ourselves that feel too messy.
Too vulnerable.
Too risky.
The parts we've learned to tuck away in order to belong, be accepted, or feel safe.
And when we stop hiding, even for a few moments, something begins to soften and shift. Something begins to come alive.
That's one of the reasons I love facilitating JourneyDance® — it's one of the few places where there is nothing to get right and no one you have to be.
No performance.
No pretending.
No making yourself smaller or more palatable.
Just breath.
Movement.
Voice.
Expression.
I've witnessed women move in ways that are wild, uncensored, raw, and completely unfiltered.
And every time it happens, I think: There they are. Fully expressed beneath all the roles, expectations, and masks.
This Thursday, June 25, in honor of Pride Month, we'll be exploring authentic expression.
Not because everyone shares the same story.
But because every one of us deserves space to be fully seen.
A space where there is nothing to prove, nothing to perform, and nothing to hide.
I hope you'll join us.
— Danielle
JourneyDance® — Express Yourself
Thursday, June 25
7-8:15pm ET • Online via Zoom • $20
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