What Do We Do with All This Anger?

Oct 6

A gentle note: This post mentions sexual violence without details or descriptions. Please choose whether reading feels right for you today.

There's a lot happening right now that is making women angry.

And IMHO, we have every reason to be angry.

The allegations coming out of Cornell have put sexual violence, consent, and accountability into conversations everywhere.

Sexual violence. Sexual abuse. The violation of another person's body, choice, safety, and autonomy.

It's outrageous.

And sadly, none of this is new.

It's more of what has been happening for far too long.

More stories being told. More questions being asked. More of what has been hidden, minimized, dismissed, or carried in silence becoming harder to ignore.

And when more of it comes into the light, it can bring a whole lot with it.

Some of us will encounter these stories as news.

For others, they may land much closer to home.

Some of those experiences happened in adulthood. Some happened when we were children.

And if you need to stop reading here, that's okay, too.

And for some of us, what's happening right now may be bringing things closer to the surface that we'd rather not revisit.

I'm not asking you to.

You don't need to tell your story.

You don't need to remember what happened.

You don't need to deliberately activate yourself in order to heal.

And anger may not even be what you're feeling right now.

You might feel sad. Numb. Overwhelmed. Disconnected. Or nothing at all.

That's okay, too.

But if anger is here, I want to make room for it.

Because anger isn't necessarily something we need to fix, quiet, transcend, or get rid of.

Sometimes anger is the part of us that says: This is not okay.

A boundary has been crossed.

Something I value has been violated.

A need hasn't been met.

An injustice has occurred.

Enough.

No.

Anger carries information.

And it carries energy.

It can be the fire that helps us protect ourselves.

Speak.

Set a boundary.

Make a change.

Take action.

Stand beside another woman.

Say the thing we've been afraid to say.

And maybe we've become so accustomed to talking about calming ourselves, regulating ourselves, soothing ourselves, and finding our way back to peace that we've forgotten something important:

Not every emotion needs to be calmed down immediately.

Sometimes anger deserves some room.

Not so it can take over.

So we can hear it.

Because so many women have learned to do something very different with anger.

Swallow it.

Push it down.

Be nice.

Keep the peace.

Don't make anyone uncomfortable.

Don't be difficult.

Don't overreact.

Keep functioning.

Power through.

And when we keep holding and holding and holding, the anger doesn't necessarily quietly disappear.

Sometimes it comes out sideways.

We snap at someone we love.

Turn it against ourselves.

Feel irritable and don't know why.

We shut down.

Clench our jaw. Tighten our shoulders. Hold our breath.

Feel exhausted from holding so damn much.

Or sometimes, after holding so much for so long, we explode.

You don't have to swallow it.

And you don't have to power through it.

Maybe the question isn't:

How do I stop being angry?

Maybe it's:

What do I do with all this energy?

Where does it get to go?

That's what we're exploring this Thursday in JourneyDance®.

MAKING SPACE FOR ANGER.

We're not coming together to relive trauma.

We're not going to discuss the details of what's happening in the news.

And we're not going to work ourselves into a rage just for the sake of getting it out.

We're going to make room for what's already here. With choice.

Maybe your body wants to move.

Maybe it wants to shake.

Stomp.

Push.

Make sound.

Express something it's been holding back.

Maybe it wants something smaller.

Maybe it wants stillness.

Maybe it doesn't want to go toward the anger at all.

You get to choose.

You are always in charge of your body here.

Every movement is an invitation.

Make it bigger.

Make it smaller.

Change it.

Pause.

Rest.

Skip it completely.

And we don't have to explain the anger to make space for it.

Your anger might be personal.

It might be connected to something you've experienced.

It might be about something happening in your life right now.

Or you might simply be f*cking angry about what you're witnessing in the world.

We're not trying to get rid of the anger.

We're giving it room without giving it control.

Letting the energy move when movement feels right.

And giving ourselves the space to choose what, if anything, comes next.

And before we're done, we'll give our bodies time to settle. To breathe. To ground. To come back to ourselves.

You don't have to be angry to come.

You don't have to share anything.

You don't have to connect your movement to anything that's ever happened to you.

As always, everything is an invitation.

But if anger is here?

We're not going to tell it to shut up.

We're going to make some space 💜

— Danielle

P.S. If anger isn't where you want to go right now, there's another way to meet yourself through the body.

Tomorrow, October 6, our Kundalini Dance practice will explore the throat chakra — truth, voice, and expression. A different practice. A different doorway. Another opportunity to listen to what your body has to say and give yourself permission to express what's true for you.

Making Space for Anger JourneyDance®

Thursday, October 8

7-8:15pm ET • Online via Zoom

$20

→ Save Your Spot Here

In recognition of the #StopSexualViolence Day of Action on October 8, we want both of these practices to be available to anyone who needs the support.

If you can pay the regular class fee, please do — it helps us keep this work accessible. But if cost would keep you from joining us right now, come anyway.

Removing barriers to this kind of support is part of why Superfine Synergy exists. No explanation needed.

If you can’t make it live, you’ll receive the replay and playlist.

Membership is $35/month and includes this class and all upcoming classes.

If cost is the only thing stopping you, use code SISTER50 for 50% off or apply for a gifted membership. No questions asked. We take care of each other here.