Is the Veil Really Thinner this Time of Year?

Oct 23

Someone in our Superfine community recently sent me this question as part of our Ask Me Anything:

“Do you think it’s true that the veil between the realms is at its thinnest later this month? If so, how could we incorporate that for our growth during the Full Moon on October 26, or is there too much time between the 26th and the 31st for it to make a difference?”

I love this question.

And I’ve been thinking about it ever since.

So, do I think the veil between realms really gets thinner as we approach Samhain?

I don’t know for sure, but I certainly think it’s possible.

What I do know is that I’ve had experiences that leave me open to the possibility that our connection with the people we’ve lost doesn’t necessarily end when they die.

There have been moments since my grandmother passed away when I have smelled her perfume in my house.

And I don’t mean I smelled some random perfume and it reminded me of her.

I mean I smelled her perfume. The scent I knew as Gram’s.

I don’t wear perfume. My wife doesn’t wear perfume. No one else was here.

It comes out of nowhere, stays just long enough for me to notice it... and disappears.

And every time, I think:

Gram

It still brings tears to my eyes, because I wish she were here.

I wish she could see how far we’ve all come. I wish she could know the four great-grandchildren she never got to meet.

I wish I could stop over for one of her fried meatballs.

And when I see a cardinal — a bird my grandmother loved — I think of her, too.

Is that Gram communicating with me?

I can’t prove it.

But I believe she is.

Could my brain be making a connection because I miss someone who was, and remains, one of the most important people in my life?

Sure.

But when I smell that perfume, I think:

Gram is here.

And maybe it doesn't need proof or explanation beyond that.

I believe that if something holds meaning for us — if it catches our attention, stirs something inside us, makes us curious — we get to pay attention to it. We get to explore it.

Which brings me back to this idea of the thinning veil.

Samhain marks a seasonal threshold — the end of one cycle and the beginning of another, a time associated with remembrance, those who came before us, and the boundary between the seen and unseen.

But I don’t think of that threshold as a light switch that suddenly flips on October 31.

We’re already moving toward it.

The days are getting shorter.

The natural world around us is letting go.

And astrologically, we’ve entered Scorpio season — a time associated with going beneath the surface, transformation, death and rebirth, and the things we don’t always want (or know how) to look at.

So no, I don’t think October 26 is too early.

What if it's all part of the invitation?

The Full Moon on the 26th gives us an opportunity to illuminate what’s beneath the surface — what we’re holding onto, what’s ready to be forgiven, and what we may be ready to release.

And then we have a few days to notice what continues to unfold as we move toward Samhain.

I think the Full Moon is a pretty powerful place to begin.

Because what if the veil isn't only something between this world and another?

What if there are veils within us, too?

Between what we think we know and what’s happening underneath.

Between what feels familiar and what actually feels safe.

Between the stories we’ve carried for years and what’s true now.

Between who we’ve needed to be and who we’re becoming.

And THAT gets really interesting under the Full Moon in Taurus on October 26.

Full Moons invite illumination, culmination, completion, and release.

And in our ceremonies, we also work with forgiveness.

This Full Moon sits across the Taurus–Scorpio axis.

Scorpio says:

Go underneath.

And Taurus says:

Stay in your body while you do it.

Don’t just think your way through whatever comes up.

Feel it.

Move it.

Give it somewhere to go.

Which is exactly what we’re going to do together in JourneyDance.

*One of my favorite moon shots, captured by local photographer Kathleen Colligan — the Full Hunter’s Moon over Narrowsburg, NY, October 2023. See her* *full gallery*.

We’ll explore what this Full Moon is illuminating:

What genuinely supports and sustains me?
What am I holding onto because it’s familiar?
What role, relationship, story, or way of protecting myself might have completed its season?
What am I ready to forgive?
What am I ready to release?

Because sometimes the thing we’re holding onto isn’t keeping us safe.

It’s simply keeping everything the same.

And if what we're holding is hurt, anger, resentment, or regret, forgiveness can become part of the release.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean saying what happened was okay.

It doesn’t require reconciliation.

It doesn’t require renewed access.

It doesn’t even require the other person to understand what they did.

Sometimes forgiveness is simply deciding:

I don’t want to keep carrying this.

And that includes forgiving ourselves for the choices we made when we didn’t know what we know now.

That’s the work waiting for us on October 26.

And then, three days later, we’re going to follow another thread.

Because sometimes what we carry didn’t begin with us.

My grandmother died on October 30, 2009.

She was extraordinary.

Strong. Fierce. Capable. Generous. A great cook.

And she was also hard and strict.

And let me tell you, 13-year-old Danielle wasn't particularly interested in appreciating all the character-building opportunities Gram was providing

But as an adult, I can see her differently.

My grandparents stepped in for my mother and for us kids when they could have chosen not to.

My life could be very, very different if they had turned their backs on us.

They didn’t.

And I am the woman I am today in no small part because of them.

So on October 29, as we move toward Samhain — and one day before the anniversary of Gram’s death — I’ll be leading a JourneyDance called Ancestral Heart.

And I’ll be inviting Gram and Gramps into my dance.

*Gram and Gramps with my kids, August 2004.*

Ancestral Heart is an opportunity to remember your people.

And to be clear, I’m not suggesting we have to honor every dead person in our family tree simply because we happen to share DNA.

No, thank you.

I mean the people you choose to remember and honor.

They may be related to you by blood. They may be the people who became family along the way.

The ones you loved.

The ones who loved you.

The ones whose strength you carry.

The ones whose sacrifices made something possible for you.

The ones whose recipes, stories, laughter, lessons, traditions, resilience, quirks, and love still live somewhere inside you.

We can honor their lives.

Their love.

Their sacrifices.

Maybe even their shortcomings.

And we can get curious about what we carry because of the people who came before us.

What have I inherited that I want to carry forward?

And...

What have I inherited that I’m ready to leave behind?

If there is someone you want to remember or honor, I invite you to bring a photograph of them with you on the 29th.

We’ll remember them.

We’ll honor them.

And we’ll dance.

You don’t have to believe in a thinning veil to do any of this.

You don’t have to believe our ancestors can hear us.

You don’t have to believe my grandmother’s perfume appearing in my house means anything at all.

The invitation still works.

And if you do believe there are times when our connection with those who came before us becomes a little easier to feel?

Well...

Maybe there’s something here for you to explore, too.

So when I look at these few days together, I don’t see October 26 and October 31 as too far apart.

I see a progression.

October 26 — Full Moon: Illuminate.
What is being illuminated? What am I holding onto? What am I ready to forgive, release, or loosen my grip on?

October 29 — Ancestral Heart: Remember.
Who came before me? Who do I choose to remember and honor? What have I inherited? What do I want to carry forward?

October 31 — Samhain: Cross the threshold.
What is ending? What is beginning? Who am I as I step into what comes next?

The days between the full moon and Samhain can be part of the practice.

Also, keep an eye on your inbox next week.

I’m creating something special for you:

Samhain: Remember • Release • Carry Forward

A reflection guide you can use to create your own intentional practice as we move through this seasonal threshold.

No dancing required :)

Just some space to get quiet, reflect, remember, release, and decide what you want to carry forward.

Maybe the veil really does get thinner.

Maybe it doesn’t.

I don’t know.

But I do know what happens when we decide to pay attention.

We notice things we might otherwise miss.

And this feels like a beautiful time to notice.

I hope you’ll join me for one — or both — of these embodied experiences 💜

— Danielle

P.S. Ask Me Anything is still open! If there’s something you’ve been wondering about — send me your question. I may answer yours next!

P.P.S. Laughter Yoga with Terri is Tuesday! Completely different energy from everything I just wrote about — but maybe that’s exactly the point. Come laugh with us.